lind as a bat

I know I've spelt it wrong. It's supposed to be ironic.

Have been doing a lot of soul searching over the weekend and as a consequence I slept appallingly badly last night. I stumbled around this morning, trying to motivate myself for another exciting day of work but I wasn't until I was at the station and tried to see what time the next train was due, that I realised I hadn't put my glasses on.

Today has been interesting! I didn't realise quite how short sighted I was. I went to see someone at their new desk downstairs and I couldn't see them until they waved at me wildly. My head hurts and my eyes ache a little.

It was an ok weekend but quite raw emotionally. Had a trip to Margate (haven't been able to stop singing "Dahn to Margit" by Chas and Dave in my head since Saturday. How fucking annoying??? :) ). Beach is lovely: lovely soft golden sand, sea looked quite clean, but the town was bloody miserable. On the way back we popped into Canterbury and I failed to buy anything, not that I tried particularly hard to do so. I wasn't feeling really gorgeous and I know that is not a good state for me to go shopping in as everything will look like shit and I'll get even more depressed. Sunday was quite a dull day, I spent ages trying to find clothes patterns and books, roasted a lamb's leg and potatoes and then ate the fruit of my labours.

The result of the weekend's thinking was that I have to try to accept things as they are, to be satisfied with them. Actually, no. I don't want that! What the hell am I saying? I always want and deserve to have the best. What I have to do is not get demotivated or depressed when I *don't* get them and to try to turn that negative emotion around to motivate me to get what I want or to make things better. The grass may be greener sometimes. Not always though. But I'm usually right when they are. I do have to work on my attention span though, sometimes things just bore me too easily and working out the difference between things being boring and green grass is an area that I need to concentrate on.

Re-did my nails yesterday. They are now looking fabulous. Totally impractical for typing but who cares?